Not this time...

This week I made the difficult decision not to run the Windermere marathon in May. Even though it's a couple of months away I don't feel able to put in the training that I want to due to work commitments and injury.

I'm sure I could squeeze in the training runs but at the expense of time to rest which I know from experience is equally important in the training plan. I've also been struggling with IT band problems, and while I was keeping them at bay (just), I haven't been confidently running more than 8 miles before I start to get some pain. I'm aware that I should be running 14 miles on Saturdays as well as several 5-8 milers during the week and to be confident on race day I know I have to have put the miles in now.

Racing is the fun part; it's the reward of all the hard work.

-Kara Goucher

So taking into consideration all things as they are at the moment I had to be honest and admit this isn't the race for me. Despite the fact that I'll be envious of all the runners, I still plan to travel to Windermere for the marathon to support my training buddy Lou and all the other runners too. This race I can enjoy being a supporter. There will be more races for me in the future, and hopefully another marathon along the line when I'm healthy and able to commit, so that I arrive at the start line confident in my training.

Musical Memories

While I was writing my last blog I was reading though it to make sure it all made sense but the news was on in the background stopping me from concentrating. I used to always listen to music when studying as it helps me focus on what I'm doing, so I plugged in my ipod.
The first song to come on was the one I listened to at the start of Sunday's race and it brought back such strong emotions and vivid images to mind
I love how music can hold such powerful memories and make you feel emotion days, months and even years after an event. There are a couple of Cranberries songs that I can't hear without seeing Swiss mountains from a holiday I went on with my family as a teenager. But I don't just see a mountain, I can see the exact car we were in and everything around me (including my old CD player.. if only we had iPods back then!) and I'm gazing out of the windows at the beautiful towering mountains around us. I remember how overwhelmed I was by the beauty of what I was seeing and still feel that emotion when I listen to those songs.

There are a lot of songs that remind me of running and training as I ran with my ipod on for much of my 2011 challenge. However this year I started picking a new song out for each race. I've chosen songs that I don't really listen to before the event and then play it at the start of the race. Now, I'm a big rock girl and poppy-pop songs usually drive me crazy, which is why I'm really surprised when I look at my choice of songs for the 3 races so far this year as they're all quite girly!!

Galveston: Set Fire to the Rain by Adele Like I said, not usually my style but it's a really powerful energising song and makes me feel like I can tackle anything!

Gusher Marathon: Who You Are by Jessie J Now, seriously Shona... Jessie J? Really? I can honestly say I can't cope with one other thing she's sung. But this song about being true to who you are just fitted with how I've learned to be happy in myself in the last couple of years and how I was following my dreams to run a marathon

Rock N Roll Dallas: Shake It Out by Florence & The Machine This is another great energising song. It is one of those that makes me feel strong (This is the song that came on when I was writing my last blog post and reminded me of the race). All I can see in my head is the clear blue sky from Sunday morning and the beautiful skyline of Dallas as I started the race with thousands of people around me.

I think that all three songs have always stirred positive emotions in me even before I associated my races to them. As far as running goes, none of them are too quick and that reminded me to set off with a steady pace and grow through my race. Also they're not the sort of thing I listen to day to day, which is perfect as I'm more likely to put them on when I'm wanting to relax and now they make me think really positive thoughts. When I listen to them great images pop into my mind and remind me of some of my biggest achievements, and if my Swiss memories are anything to go by they will do for many years to come....

The Gusher Marathon

I can't believe how quickly this week is flying!... the race was on Saturday and it's now Tuesday, but between travelling, recovery, day to day life and not feeling well, somehow time has got away with me.

I set off on Friday afternoon, packed up with all my essentials (several clothing options, sport beans, forgoodness shakes, puppies and Paul) and headed to Beaumont. 

It couldn't have been a worse evening to travel, the rain was pouring like crazy. Once we got to Beaumont we had to go to the supermarket to pick up some things I needed for dinner and breakfast, and we also needed to go to packet pickup in the city centre for my race number and timing chip. 

I have never got so wet running in and out of buildings and I was starting to get nervous about the forecast for Saturday morning.  I had been checking weather underground all week and storms had been forecast until the last minute.

Somehow, despite this forecast, a little miracle happened and Saturday was clear all day 

As expected I got a rubbish night sleep on Friday as I was full of nerves, excitement and anticipation. I got up at 5 to get some breakfast and we got there just in enough time for a photo of me looking nervous and to get to the start.

The first loop was great as there were plenty of people to run and pace with and lots of supporters along the route. I finished the first half in 2.03.31 then started on the loneliest 13.1 miles of my running life so far! 

Initially I was feeling strong after the first half as I headed out onto the MLK freeway. It's such a long stretch and the wind was picking up which started making life a little more difficult. When I got into the town centre it was so much quieter than the first loop. Many of the supporters had called it a day as it wasn't worth hanging around for the more occasional marathon runners. Local businesses were closed because the roads were closed so it was dead as a dodo! I had a few guys behind me and a couple up ahead but there were definitely not crowds of runners encouraging you to push along. That's where the mind games began. The urge to walk was overwhelming sometimes and the pain in my quads started to wear me down.

Running back up the long stretch of MLK (somehow into the wind again!) was the hardest part for me. I had never run over 20 miles so this stretch was pushing me physically and mentally. On the positive side, running down the middle of 6 lanes of motorway all to yourself is pretty awesome!

The run up to this marathon had been far from perfect. I had been sick for the 2 weeks prior to the race, worst of all that I was so ill I didn't eat a thing on Monday or Tuesday. I spent the rest of the week trying to get some food in me and make an attempt at carb loading. I was still struggling with pain on the day of the race and had to make a couple of stops but I was determined not to give in... I had trained for too long to not finish the race!
Somehow I surprised myself and finished in a gun time of 4.26.09 and chip time of 4.25.40. I was 4th in my age group which I'm so pleased with considering it was my first marathon... then I realised if I had been just a couple of months older I would have been 1st in my age group... FIRST!!!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT??!!

I'm so pleased to have run a full 26.2 miles and feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment. I trained hard for this and know that it paid off. My legs hate me right now... I couldn't get up the steps to the house which was just silly... followed by cuddling the dog on the floor and getting stuck down there, which was even sillier!

However today I'm starting to move a little better and I don't regret it for a moment... it was totally worth the aches and pains!

Between you and me I'm already planning my next one....

PMA TO THE RESCUE!

So after realising where I was going wrong the other day, I attempted a bit of a mental reset and so far it's worked. Yesterday's run was an example of this and I realised a few really important things...

• Marathon training is not supposed to be easy
• I'm not the only one that has ever felt overwhelmed by marathon training... it's supposed to push you
• I need to stop giving myself such a hard time, and just do my best
• IF IT WAS EASY... EVERYONE WOULD DO IT

Yesterday I ran without my Garmin or ipod (the ipod wasn't intentional but it was dead as a dodo) and it did me the world of good. I didn't need GPS as I knew exactly where I was going to run and run it so often I know how far it is. I hadn't realised how much I look at my watch for distance and pace and I really enjoyed this run without that subconscious pressure. It was mild outside but not too hot, I could run comfortably in a singlet and shorts and the only thing I could've done with was a drink half way around!
Here comes the bit that made the difference though... Instead of analysing how far I had left to run (and torturing myself with it) I thought about how I should go about raising some money for the YAMND. Once I'd tackled that (which took about 9km by the time I'd thought about it then repeated everything enough times to commit it to memory), I occupied the rest of my run (7km) with thoughts about positive things. These things are varied in their subject matter but I would only think about something if I was thinking about it in a positive way. I set myself some rules where 'can't' and 'won't' and similar negative words were banned from my thoughts. If they crept in I'd have to find a way of expressing what I was thinking in a positive way (all the time this is keeping my mind busy and I'm not thinking about how far I've run and how far I have left to go!!)

If I ran out of things to think about I would repeat positive phrases, almost like a song, through my mind again and again. Running up hills involved 'I can do this' 'I am strong' and 'hills are awesome!'. (Rubbish song, I know, but it got me up them and I didn't stop at any point though the full 16km!). I noticed that in order for this to work I had to approach it as 'I can do this' rather than 'you can do this' as that would make me feel like I was telling someone else.
Somehow these things got me through the full distance comfortably with no desire to quit and no physical pain. Although this all involves admitting that I talk to myself (though I don't think it was out loud except maybe when I was going uphill), it does prove that my problems recently have been in my head and not with my physical ability!

'Our greatest battles are 

with our own minds'

                               Jameson Frank

York and District Against Motor Neurone Disease

I've suddenly realised that the marathon is fast approaching so I thought I would talk about the charity that I'm running for. This year I'm raising money for York and District Against Motor Neurone Disease as they are providing my Godmother Sue with both the technology and support that she needs.

York and District against Motor Neurone Disease is an independent charity (#1000356) which was founded in 1989. They offer practical and emotional support for victims and their families and also provide information about MND. Operating in York and the surrounding area, YAMND can loan equipment such as light writers and electric reclining chairs, and make financial contributions towards some of the more expensive equipment that sufferers of this disease need to make day to day tasks possible. They employ a part time nurse to help the group provide an outstanding level of care for patients in the area. Doreen Foster, the nurse employed by YAMND, was awarded the Health Service Hero 2011 in the York Press Community Pride Awards for her outstanding work over the last 16 years, and for returning to work after her own serious health issues. All other members of the group volunteer their services.

I have set my target to £1000 though understand this could be difficult as many people waited until very late last year to sponsor my last challenge and seem hesitant to donate again. However I will definitely do my best for them.
If you would like to support my race and donate to YAMND please go to my justgiving page . Every little (or lot) helps! Thank you :)

Battling my Brain

Running hasn't always been easy for me. I only started a couple of years ago and the initial difficulties were in the physical pain, from injured knees to general fitness issues that manifested in aching limbs and fiery lungs. However I persevered and grew stronger physically and since then my regular training runs have been (fairly) easy... until now.

For a long time running was the thing that helped me deal with challenges and gave me time to think. But right now everything is going my way in life and I'm happy....
....and for some reason this seems to be making my running more difficult. I have nothing to fight though, nothing is making me so angry that I need to sprint through it and conquer my mind with burning lungs and heavy legs. On long runs I used to plan things and think through conversations and strategies. I'd think about friendships that were in turmoil and go through my options of saving them or letting them go. Basically the reason I started running was that I had a lot to think about.

I'm thankful that my life has settled down a lot since then, but it left my head with a lot less to contemplate. During that time the 2011 challenge became part of my mentality, something to strive towards and focus on. As a result my weekly running target was always a set total but I could regularly do more, and that in itself was a positive influence on my life.
This year however I'm in marathon training and I've never done anything like it. The requirements of the plan I chose are steep to say the least and, although I don't think I chose a particularly difficult plan, the km/week requirement makes my 2011 challenge seem like a walk in the park! Not being able to keep up with the plan in itself is having a negative affect on my mindset.
Then there's the 'Long Slow Run'..... Oh my word!!!

The long slow run has increased through the course of my training, however as it turns out, it's not the distance that's doing me in right now. I started off my LSRs in the company of the Sweatshop running club on a Sunday morning by running to them, with them, and then back home to make up the distance I needed. Then I started running with Lou who is a great running partner! She runs long distance, naturally on a negative split (which is awesome), and is great company all the way. But now, here I am in hilly Texas which feels like a million miles away from Lou and our random adventures along the flat city streets, muddy riverside trails and the York-Selby cycle path.

The long run is becoming a nemesis that has started to get the better me. Without the company of fellow runners it is becoming increasingly difficult, especially as (in order to stay safe) my route is either 2 or 3 loops of the same road, and the same big hills again and again. I seem to be talking myself out of everything and losing confidence, often within the first few miles and it's as if the foundations I've built aren't even there right now.
However part of me understands that these runs are supposed to challenge me, and no-one ever said this was going to be easy! On the day I'm hoping that the race environment will keep me going and that I'll be distracted by other runners and spectators, but I need to be ready to run the distance alone. These training runs are designed to prepare me. They will challenge me to be strong both physically and mentally, and to be able to do the distance without encouragement from spectators, friends or family.
The challenge now is both to be strong, and to grow stronger...

Sometimes you need another pair of hands!

Now I have successfully completed my first half marathon of 2012, it's time to look forward to the next race. I still can't quite believe I'm going to do a full marathon, but I'm signed up now and training hard so it's going to happen!

However I have one small worry on my mind. I know that there are GU gels around the course on race day but I really can't stomach them when I'm running (or at any time to be honest). Through trial and error I found that Jelly Belly Sport Beans are the best way for me to fuel on the run as they don't make me feel sick, they're easy to eat and they taste good too. 

However during my marathon I expect to need 3 packets, one every 10km or so....

How the heck do I carry them on me when I'm running? 

I don't really want to take my hydration belt as it does restrict me a bit and can get on my nerves. This leaves me with either 'tricks of the trade' that I'm not yet aware of, or a case finding the right combination of running shorts and top that can carry 3 packets of jelly beans.

I'm not a big fan of the look of raceready shorts and I prefer to run in a tank or racerback top. So if any of you have any suggestions of tops/shorts that you find carry enough, or another way of carrying them, please leave a comment

Thank you :)

Why I run...

'When people ask me why I run, I tell them, 

there's not really a reason, 

it's just the adrenalin when you start, 

and the feeling when you cross that finish line, 

and to know that you are a winner no matter what place you got.'

Courtney Parsons